rianjs.net

B: "You're Armenian, why wouldn't you take something that's free?"
R: "Ever notice he doesn't talk about being half Italian?"
B: "Hey yeah… why don't you ever talk about being Italian?"
A: "They're my recessive genes. I'm a heterozygous recessive Italian."

I find this incredibly funny.

Zoo tempts gay penguins to go straight

The four Swedish females were dispatched to the Bremerhaven Zoo in Bremen after it was found that three of the zoo's five penguin pairs were homosexual.

Keepers at the zoo ordered DNA tests to be carried out on the penguins after they had been mating for years without producing any chicks.

It was only then they realised that six of the birds were living in homosexual partnerships.

Haha. Animal homosexuality is not a new thing, but the zookeepers' approach to getting them to go "strait" is fucking funny. I can't say I've ever heard of such a thing before, but I can understand it since the penguins are endangered. (Now we know why. ;))

Normally, though, animal homosexuality doesn't manifest itself until the population reaches a point where more having more offspring would be detrimental to the survival of the species/colony.

She said that the birds had been mating for years and one couple even adopted a stone that they protected like an egg.

LOL.

Well it seems that I now know the reason that my sense of taste is somewhat screwy lately, and why I can be hungry but not feel like eating. It seems that Flagyl causes dizziness, and Levaquin causes dizziness and taste perversion in some people. That's kinda cool.

Now if only Flagyl would cause taste perversion to the point where it doesn't taste like ass…

This, apparently is the thinking of a Welsh rugby fan anyway. I've never heard of anyone cutting off their testicles to celebrate though.

A WELSH rugby fan cut off his own testicles to celebrate his team's defeat of old enemy England in Cardiff on Saturday.

Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win the Six Nations opener that he told fellow drinkers at a social club, "If Wales win I'll cut my balls off", it was reported yesterday.

Friends at the club in Caerphilly, south Wales, thought he was joking. But after the 11-9 victory over England, Huish went home, severed his testicles with a knife, and walked 200 metres back to the bar with the testicles to show the shocked drinkers what he had done.

Staff phoned the emergency services and put the testicles in a pint glass filled with ice cubes.

Huish, who has a history of mental problems, was taken to hospital where he remained in a seriously ill condition.

Oh those crazy mentally ill people. . .

I've had a couple of people ask me what the final verdict was. I sent this email a few days ago:

Well I have a partially obstructed bowel in my terminal ileum. I've been getting IV metronidazole, levofloxacin, protonix, lorazepam, phenergan, and some morphine along the way since Tuesday. I had an NG tube in my face from Monday till something like Wednesday. I took pictures, I'll try to post them up so you guys can look at them. No promises.

The symptoms match Crohn's disease, but since there's no history of it in my family, it seems unlikely. Probably just some sort of colitis. Looking back I can see signs of it all the way back to this past summer when I was in Costa Rica and possibly before. When they first admitted me, I had a high white blood cell count, so obviously it's been brewing for quite some time.

This is from Tuesday when they did a CT scan, from my discharge papers:

There is a 15cm segment of mural thickening of the terminal ileum, with low density mural appearance. Just proximal to this region of thickened terminal ileum is dilation of the small bowel with fecalization. In addition, there is mild thickening of the proximal cecum.

The findings are suggestive of Crohn's disease, although other considerations include tuberculosis, CMV, and lymphoma.

Mild small bowel dilation proximal to the region of fecalization and wall thickening probably represents dilation from at least partial physiologic obstruction.

[...]

Discharge diagnosis: Partial small obstruction from inflamed terminal ileum. Terminal ileitis.

I have to have a colonoscopy sometime in the next few weeks. I'm supposed to make about six thousand phonecalls to various doctors all over the damn place tomorrow. I don't remember all of them, so I'll call the dude who was my doc in the hospital.

So yeah. The final verdict is that nobody really knows what caused it. I'm just glad to be home for the superbowl. I think I've lost about 15-20 lbs in the last week. I'm eating constantly. I can eat whatever I want now, but I think I'll be skipping the buffalo wings tonight.

Yes, it's like the third blogging tool in about two months. This will be the last move that I make for a while. I'll probably change the template up really soon so it doesn't look like the vanilla WordPress install so much. Gallery for images will be forthcoming soon as well.

Home again, woohoo!

I registered my new domain name, paid for my webhosting, and hopefully, the DNS will propagate really soon.

Downloaded gallery. Now I hope I can get my pictures off of my cell phone somehow. Sending MMSes to myself don't seem to work. Nor does sending them to my email address. Gay. I have some pictures I want to post.

My intestines are rumbling.

Superbowl tonight. Pats are playing.

Saturday 12.35pm, the fifth day. Not much has happened. It has occurred to me that I haven't left this room since Tuesday, I guess. Well actually I guess I did on Wednesday when they did an abdominal X-ray. (Where I fell asleep on the x-ray machine.) I'm ready to leave.

Real food today, which actually tasted good. Shit, I wouldn't complain if I ate this good at school on a regular basis. Scrambled eggs, pancakes with some sort of cinnamon/apple rolled up in it, cream of wheat, apple juice, Ensure, rice krispies, maybe one other thing? Pretty much stuff with a million calories in it, thank God. At least I shouldn't lose much more weight.

Christ on a fucking bike I'm horny. It's been like a fucking week.

I'm so bored about blogging this goddamn hospital stay.

I think I can trace this partial bowel blockage back to this past summer in Costa Rica. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole thing started as a result of stress, and is irritated by shitty diets. Now if the doctor would stay for more than two minutes without his fucking entourage I could talk to him about it. I hate feeling like I'm on display.

I can't wait to buy a new cell phone and some nice headphones. My mom paid off my entire credit card balance, and I still have enough money left to pay for my trip to Europe with a lot left over. And then there's my tax refund which I could probably get finished up if I wasn't in this fucking place.

1.38pm, Friday. Ugh, my intestines are rumbling like a motherfucker.

Is it weird to blog a hospital stay?