The patient with two names

One of TAP’s bullet points made me chuckle. It also jogged a memory.

The patient who you thought you filled that Rx correctly for ended up having another last name and the same birth-date as someone else in your system. Of course they don’t tell you this until after they have received the Rx and loudly proclaim that you filled it for the wrong person with a store full of people. I mean aren’t we supposed to know that her full name is Maria Consuelo Rodriguez Maravilla Hernandez Guadalupe AIAIAIAIA ARRIBA?

We have one patient in one of my pharmacies — yes, they’re mine — that has two names.

Two completely different names. No motifs. No variations on a theme. One day she’s Maria Gomez and the next day she’s Elisa Rodriguez. It’s fucked up. What’s even more fucked up is that Maria doesn’t know Elisa’s name, and vice-versa. She has to read it from the bottle that she wants refilled, and God help you if she doesn’t have the bottle that day. But even more mind-blowing than this is that I’m the only person in over a year to actually put the other name in each of her two profiles. Yeah. Wrap your brain around that one, if you can.

This woman takes an SSRI, but that’s it in terms of psych meds, so I have no idea what her deal is. I wouldn’t even want to guess. Naturally, she can’t speak English except for “15 meenoo? O-K,” so I’ll never find out, but she is terribly nice, which does get her some brownie points. I’ll take a nice idiot over a smart asshole any day of the week. Not that she’s an idiot — I strongly suspect she has some untreated psych condition. (Surely it can’t be undiagnosed? We can’t be the only ones who haven’t figured out that something’s not quite right.)

Thankfully she is starting to prefer one name over the other, so I guess we’re making some progress. Or maybe it’s a seasonal thing? Now that it’s after Labor Day she’ll go back to being Elisa… :suicide:

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